Another year older

Well yesterday was my 34th birthday and it felt like anyother day to me,,,aside from the fact I got to control the tv remote :). I woke up expecting to feel older but nothing just nothing,,and for an hour or so I was actually into the concept of my bday and that got squashed real quick the second I walked into to work and got fussed out for trying to celebrate my day by wearing a bday sash. I normally dont let stuff affect me as much as that did but it really ruined my day so there I was standing in a funk trying to smile and take care of my customers but I just wasn't feeling it at all but damn if I didn't plaster a big old plastic smile on my face and finish my day and noone even knew it was anyother day than a normal Friday in out hood .
All in all my bday has become a very bittersweet day in my life since my 28th bday cuz that was the last bday I spent with my mom and she died about a month later from a sudden heart attack at work. Then 2 years after that my gma passed away and other than my husband and son it hit me I have no family to celebrate with anymore,,,depressing yes but I try not to let it overcome me even as much as I want it too.  This year though this year it won,,,another year older and a lot more wiser,,wiser to the fact that I need to move on and find me again,,wiser to the fact that its not healthy to allow myself to wallow in this depression anymore so as my sollum vow to myself I won't let it happen anymore I will get Teresa back and get her back with a vengence ok late 30s be prepared I'm commin for ya !!!!